For some reason, talking about therapy is not something that is usually openly shared. At least, I don't know many people who do. In fact, I've been going to therapy (with a psychologist) on a rather regular basis since the end of 2020. And no, it wasn't because of work, it was because of a failed love relationship. It's all mixed up in my head, but clearly, as I was already into astrology and had done some work with my inner child, what I felt I was missing was something I had resisted doing for years: talking to a mental health professional about how I was feeling.
That's the central point of this article: why is there so much resistance to starting therapy? It's as if it's taboo to accept that you need help. In my case, I felt the stigma coming on: that others would see me as weak, incapable. But more than that, I would need to accept that I was not capable on my own. And of course, it doesn't help that some people around you say that going to therapy is for the weak. In fact, there were some who, after my burnout, when they found out that I was also in therapy, said things like "oh, and even being in therapy didn't help you prevent burnout, so it doesn't help you at all." Maybe they didn't mean it to sound insensitive, but in any case, I couldn't disagree more with their assessment.
In fact, perhaps my having opened myself up to uncovering pandora's box with a therapist began to shed light on several issues in my life that were going unnoticed by me, and burnout was a "side effect" of when you feel in misalignment with yourself. So, while it didn't "prevent" burnout, it clearly did help to work through my emotional turmoil with a trained professional at the time (and still is.)
In hindsight, I feel that it was an act of personal empowerment as well. I dared. I did it, despite what other people (or myself) might think. That's how I still see it: asking for help and going to a therapist is an act of self-love, but also an act of love towards your support network, because no matter how much you have family, friends, partner, etc., available to support you, there are issues that are beyond what they can do for you. Moreover, many times the issues are directly a result of our interactions with these people, so taking them to a neutral entity first can effectively prevent hurting the other person, especially when we may be unfairly projecting our traumas and unresolved mental sh*t onto them.
BUT no one can force you to go to therapy. It is something that, like many things in life, for it to really work, you must want to do it for yourself when you feel it, sometimes even arriving to the breaking point. Only then can it be sustained over time. And, despite making that big decision, nothing assures you that the first person you choose to work with will be the ideal person for it, but at least you have to try. And if it doesn't work out, keep looking. As it is a relationship, it is very important to feel comfortable with your therapist; otherwise, it is difficult to really be vulnerable and open in a way that you feel the difference after a session.
Nowadays, for me (and as I read in a book recently), going to therapy is like training for a long-distance run: to see results, you have to be committed, consistent and present. It's not necessarily something that will change your life overnight, but when you look back you will be able to compare how you got there and how you feel. I'm sure there will be differences or progress.
So far, I haven't met anyone who is going to therapy who regrets it. And that's because it works, when you do your part, it works. Maybe the type of therapy can vary, some people prefer to work with the body, others with hypnosis, and so on and so forth. But what counts is to do something that helps you heal, not to keep covering up and repeating. Even so, most of my close circle does not go to therapy, and I am always impressed by the resistance that many of them have when it comes to asking for help. The excuses tend to vary: "it's too expensive", "I'll spend an hour crying and I won't solve anything", "I have to do a lot of research to find the ideal person", "I don't have time", etc., etc., etc., etc. There are thousands of excuses, but the problems and difficulties they share are always the same. Clearly there is something wrong, and unless something different is done, nothing will change.
As I am currently working on learning to set boundaries, I realise that recommending people to go to therapy can be counterproductive to both my practice and their process. So, what helps me (apart from writing about it) is to remember that we are all living our own processand, hopefully, there will come a day when something clicks for the person, and they will decide to start healing. There is value in the moment this happens. Everything is happening at the right time, even if sometimes it doesn't seem so.
How about you, have you been or are you in therapy? How has your experience been? I read you.
Photo: Image by Drazen Zigic in Freepik